No, I’m not asking if you are fat. Although many midlife women are concerned about extra pounds that have accumulated through childbirth, enjoying life, heredity, and slowing metabolism. I find it interesting that most of the overweight men I’ve gone out with don’t consider themselves overweight, but near-normal-weight women often consider themselves fat.
I’m talking about PHAT: Pretty, Hot And Thick. This term has become popular with the under-30 crowd to describe curvaceous, voluptuous, Rubenesque, plump, plus-size women with a saucy attitude.
In dating, it can be sobering reading many men’s profiles that say they only want a woman who is slender when you know you aren’t. I am thrilled when I read that a man accepts — and sometimes prefers — a woman with some curves. What this says to me is that the man is a bit more open minded than many, and understands there are amazing women in packages that are beyond size 2.
Last year a movie titled PHAT Girlz starring Mo’Nique, focused on showing that women who wear queen-size hose can feel sexy and be attractive to hot men. Queen Latifah has never shiedQueen Latifah away from strutting her stuff in tight-fitting, revealing clothing. No longer is being larger a reason to feel one must hide behind matronly clothing.
Being PHAT is mostly about attitude. It is not being afraid to wear flattering, curve-accentuating clothing. It is about feeling sexy and allowing that attitude to come out. You exude self-esteem and like who you are. It shows through your walk, your posture, your solid eye contact, your easy smile, your flirting.
If you want some ideas on how to look fabulous if you are PHAT, rent Queen Latifah’s Last Holiday (after her transition), Bringing Down the House and Beauty Shop. Also, the aforementioned PHAT Girlz.
R.L. Morgan, “The Dating Goddess,” brings you her experience from the front line of dating after 40 — having dated 73 men in 2 years after her 20-year marriage broke up. Read her insights and lessons to help you date more effectively. She’s a bestselling author, Oprah guest, and speaker. Read all of the Dating Goddess’s wisdom at Adventures in Dating After 40, http://www.DatingGoddess.com.