Online Dating Spider - singles, dating, and love

Most companies require new employees to undergo a 30, 60, and/or 90-day review to discuss how they are doing at their job. Typically part of the discussion is how well the employee thinks s/he is doing and what s/he likes and doesn’t like about the job. The boss then shares how she thinks the employee is doing, what is working and what needs improvement.

I think relationships should have a 60-day (or 90-day) relationship review. This way both parties could get a reality check on how s/he sees the relationship in comparison to the other. Both people could answer the questions, first on paper, then sharing their answers with the other. Some sample questions could be: (more…)

A friend of mine is convinced that smell has a lot to do with dating attraction. He believes people exude a human pheromone of sorts, functioning as an attractant of the opposite sex. But since pheromone receptors have not yet been found in humans, what scent does attract us? (more…)

No, I’m not asking if you are fat. Although many midlife women are concerned about extra pounds that have accumulated through childbirth, enjoying life, heredity, and slowing metabolism. I find it interesting that most of the overweight men I’ve gone out with don’t consider themselves overweight, but near-normal-weight women often consider themselves fat.

I’m talking about PHAT: Pretty, Hot And Thick. This term has become popular with the under-30 crowd to describe curvaceous, voluptuous, Rubenesque, plump, plus-size women with a saucy attitude. (more…)

A date and I met some gal pals and their hubbies at a zydeco dance club. If you’re unfamiliar with this term, the music originated in southern Louisiana. Like most dances, there is a basic step, then embellishments as you get more comfortable.

None of us knew the steps so we arrived early for the lessons. Dancing alone to the calls of the instructor, the steps seemed easy — almost ridiculously so. We spent 30 minutes going over the basic steps and some easy variations. (more…)

My friend, world class photojournalist, author, former National Geographic photographer and Academy Award-nominated director Dewitt Jones is also an entrancing speaker. His presentations are illustrated with his riveting photos as he makes his points on creativity, leadership, vision and passion.

In a presentation I heard over 15 years ago, one of his phrases still reverberates: “The banquet is laid, though nobody comes.*” When I recently asked about him about it, he said, “I use it to refer to the banquet nature/God sets before us everyday.” Yet, as he points out, we are often too stuck in whatever is in front of us to step back, look around, and see the bounty of beauty before us. (more…)

On a third date, a guy and I were sharing how well we both felt we got along and how well matched we seemed to be. He surprised me when he said, “Don’t idealize me.” I hadn’t been. I was clear on his imperfections, yet was enjoying the parts that I liked.

It can be easy to idealize someone after a few dates if he seems to fit your perfect-guy criteria. About another man I wrote in my journal, “There were no red flags —- is that a red flag that he has no immediately detectable flaws?” (more…)

When the guy you’re dating does something that really torques your jaw, something you consider incredibly rude, self-centered, or insensitive, it’s easy to get in his face about it. But if most of the time he’s a thoughtful, polite, sharing, caring, conscious guy, this inconsiderate behavior is an anomaly.

So how do you approach the situation with love and maturity, yet let your feelings be known? This concept is not easy to apply when you are in the heat of anger, but when you do the outcome is amazing. (more…)

Have you ever driven a car that seems very foreign to you? I remember driving a friend’s Italian sports car that had five gears when I was used to four. The dashboard had a unfamiliar layout. And everything was labeled in Italian!

Or maybe you’re a Mac gal and every once in a great while you have to work on a PC (or a PC gal working on a Mac). You know the results you want to create, but you have to really focus to figure out how to open the applications you want. And the keyboard has a different layout than you’re used to. While you know you can achieve what you want, it just takes a little longer as the keys and shortcuts you’re used to aren’t easily apparent. (more…)

There are thousands of dating sites on the internet today. These personals sites can offer dating possibilities to all singles or they may specialize and offer their service to only a certain type of single. More dating services have tried to evolved into a niche market since competition has become very fearless in the last few years. The smaller dating sites just can’t compete with the advertising dollars that the large services spend.

The major categories that online dating sites specialize in are: (more…)

This may seem like an elementary statement but…You have to go where the women are! Too many guys cheat themselves out of meeting great women because they avoid the venues where they hang out. They go to sports bars over coffee shops, take golf lessons over Latin dance lessons, go to hardcore gyms over health clubs, they avoid malls, etc.

Get over the idea that an activity or place is “GAY”. Yoga may not be the manliest of sports, but it’s great cardio-vascular exercise and the classes are usually 28 women and 2 guys. Aerobics classes may look gay to you, but you’ll be in a room with mostly young women, all clad in spandex and doing stretches we can only pray to see in a strip club. Why not get involved with one of these activities instead of getting your cardio in on a boring treadmill or Stairmaster? (more…)

Dating is really a difficult game. It may seem pretty simple when you think about it. You ask someone that you like. You go to a restaurant. You order and you eat. You make conversation. It all seems like a breeze but it’s not. Asking someone out can be really hard for people especially for men who are easily intimidated, those with self-esteem issues and those who are just plain inexperienced with dating women. (more…)

These days Internet dating is huge. If you’re serious about finding The One and are NOT using internet dating, you’re missing out on one of the most powerful ways to meet potential mates. But as with everything, there is a right and a wrong way to create an outstanding profile. With a great description, you’ll open up a world of possibilities and draw interesting, attractive prospects. With the wrong one, you’ll send people running for the hills even if you really are Ms. or Mr. Wonderful. Or worse yet, you’ll be attracting the wrong type of suitors.

Unfortunately, in a vast sea of profiles, making one blunder can mean the difference between no dates and lots of dates! So whether you’re new to Internet dating and not sure how to get started or you’ve been online but aren’t getting the response you deserve, read on to learn the most common profile mistakes. Armed with this information, you can craft a profile that will get you noticed! (more…)

There are two layers to life, work and love. One is above the surface and one is below. Above the surface is how you look, how you feel, how you act, how you manifest your life in hard goods and tangible reality. It is important.

Below the surface there is another world. It is a world of sensations, emotions, moods and connections. No one sees this world. Your “above the surface” world is all people see. To detect what is below the surface, we must use our intuition. This intuition is possessed by everyone but understood by few, and trusted by even fewer.

The world above causes the world below. Many people confuse this. The spiritual seeker might say that if I meditate, I will achieve a good life. But this is false reality. If we live a good life, we will meditate. The above causes the below. “As above, So below” (more…)

Why are you single? From the age of 14, being single is unnatural. From that age, nature want us, in some form or other, to share our life with a significant other. Be it the boy around the corner or the girl of your dreams, being double is normal, being single takes an effort.

Nature does not define relationships, we do. We load them with our own brand of “should” and in doing so bring the whole of our being forward into the moment of love. We are not always living in accordance with nature, we normally live in accordance with the laws and rules, values and beliefs that we have accumulated.

Now we can understand why some people are single and some people are not. It has nothing to do with nature. If nature (call this God) had her way, we’d all be with our partners and living according to her laws, at the border of chaos and order. (more…)

Some years ago, I was an avid online chatter. During my travel for work, I found many virtual friends and even had a relationship with an English gentleman that I had met via the Internet. Some of you reading this may understand while others of you may find the notion of a romance started over the Internet to be preposterous. I offer no defense as that is not the reason for this article.

The most important question I received about that relationship came from well-meaning family members and friends. “How do you know it’s true love?” (more…)

The first step to finding and keeping love – stillness. When we declare our love for someone, we really mean, I am at peace with you. At peace means I lack any emotional negativity and therefore, I let down my guard.

When we let down our guard to another person, it means we are at peace with them. There is no need for defense or protection against them. We can call it trust, but it goes beyond that. In love means, this person as entered your being, beyond the guardians that exist in your mind, deep into the recesses of your being.

If we had no fear, we could fall in love with many people easily. But we do have fear and so, we cannot fall in love easily. So the science of falling in love comes from the science of overcoming fear. (more…)

Valentine’s Day is peculiar, isn’t it? I can’t think of any other holiday that triggers such joy in one group and such envy and resentment in another. Even those who don’t care either way are forced to define themselves as participants or non-participants by the oh so prevalent, “So are you doing anything special for Valentine’s Day?”

Valentine’s Day feels like a finger pointing at me to remind me of my relationship status. Last year I was in a romantic relationship; this year I’m not. The break-up was painful, but I’ve accepted it. Still, it feels like Valentine’s Day is that cruel co-worker tapping me on the shoulder to remind me that I was passed over for promotion. (more…)

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “If only I could find a partner, someone to love me, have my own ‘true love story’ then I’d feel more fulfilled, whole, and happy.”

If you recognize those thoughts, if you identify with them, then I’d like to let you in on a secret, one that will take you toward that true love story of your very own…

The truth is, no-one else can ever make you feel whole. I know, it sucks hearing this but it’s true. No matter who you find, they can never make you feel complete. No relationship can make you feel permanently, perfectly fulfilled. (more…)

Love is in air, romance is ruling everyone’s mind and the markets are flooded with chocolates, cute stuffed toys, mushy greetings cards and other goodies with lovey-dovey messages. Yes, it’s the day of lovers and friends, the day to express your love and affection to someone very special and to celebrate and spend time with someone who means the world to you - your beloved, your valentine!

Valentine’s Day is here along with the season for cards, roses and chocolates. But sad is the fact that not many of us know its true importance and the reasons for the widespread celebration of this day. Today, it is just another excuse to celebrate, to exchange gifts and for the card and chocolate companies to make some quick money. (more…)

All Love is Sacred. Romance your beloved. Live this day as if it will be your last together. Remember tomorrow never comes. Forget yesterday’s challenges. Be innocent, get off your high horse. Ignore all your worries about tomorrow. This is it. Your own opportunity to change the world you live in. Give it all you have. Make it the best day of your year. Make every day a Valentine’s day. The saddest words you can ever hear are, “I wish I had my time over again … I’d do it different”, regret. The stupidest people have “do it tomorrow” on their calendar. Act like your beloved is the most precious diamond, and if you don’t act now, they’ll evaporate (which is truth). Run with it! Today! Now. Don’t be a mourner get out and love. (more…)

Most relationships, even those built on love, start to fade with time. If both partners do nothing to improve the situation after some time they may hit a dead-end. However, there are a few things that can be done to sustain happy and strong relationship.

Here are most important love and relationship tips that you need to know in order to save passion and special bond that you and your beloved share: (more…)

I have fallen deeply in love three times during my life so far and they were all intense affairs that ended with unresolved feelings. The first time was with my ex-husband. It lasted 33 years and was a rollercoaster of incredible proportions, marked by some great loving, caring and appreciation at the beginning, with resentment, anger and frustration at the end. When we finally parted there was still a lot of attraction but much sadness between us.

Halfway through my marriage, during a particularly rocky time of womanising by my partner, especially with my best friend, I took refuge with my sister abroad and fell instantly in love with someone I didn’t even want to meet. George was incredible in his adoration of me and, though I too was deeply attracted, I was not yet mature enough to deal with this sudden onslaught of new emotions. My Catholic upbringing also ensured that a stamp of disapproval would have been placed on anything that might have developed and I retreated in some confusion. I had no intention of leaving my marriage and the U.K., and thus ignored my feelings – with some difficulty, despite George being steadfast in his pursuit of me. He even flew unexpectedly all the way from Canada to prise me away with a proposal in the classroom where I was teaching! Having seen his perceived ideal, he was not going to relinquish her easily. (more…)

Consider this scenario! You meet a guy in an Internet chat room. You exchange a few text messages with him and both of you seem to hit it off instantly. In the days that follow you are spending a wholesome number of hours every day in chatting with him. You revel in his brilliant flair for conversation, which entices you to open up and discuss about the most intimate aspects of your life. One day, he sends you his photograph via e-mail. Suddenly, you have a face for the man with whom you have been chatting for so long. You find him good looking and that night when you go to bed you find yourself fantasising that he is in the same bed beside you. (more…)

When you’re getting ready for a date, it’s very important to get into the mood before hand. Now this is most important for first dates, because you always want to put forth your best during the date.

When I say “getting in the mood” though, I’m not talking about what you might think. Instead I’m referring to creating a positive, upbeat mood that can help you enjoy yourself more and possibly help your date enjoy themselves more too.

Now there are a lot of ways to get yourself into a great mood. Everyone is different though, so some of these might work for you while others don’t, but generally, these tips almost always help… (more…)

As a committed Christian, it’s important to find a partner who shares your values and faith.

So, which of the many online sites should you choose - or should you use several to increase the chances of finding a date or partner ? Whilst there are many sites purporting to offer Christian dating, it may be worthwhile looking a little closer. (more…)